Worst Pickup Lines

Well, no vulgar posts have blighted this blog yet, but here's a try. These are meant to be funny. And I did not make them up. I will confess that I have not the talent. And in case you don't like 'em, you can play one of them three monkeys and see no evil!


1. Hi, I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I’d certainly like to make your bed rock.

2. Would you believe me if I told you I’m an angel and God sent me down here on a special
mission just to give you a kiss?

3. Let’s do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

4. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put you between f and ck.

5. You look yummy. You must bring new meaning to the word "edible".

6. Nice shoes, do you want to fuck?

7. I’ve heard that sex is a killer. Do you want to die happy?

8. I would like you to attend my party; and then we can also invite your pants to come down

9. Hi, my name’s Karl. Remember it, you’ll be screaming it later tonight!

10. Hey baby are you wearing your space underwear tonight? Because your ass is out of this
world!

12. Hey sexy. How would you like to join me in doing some math? Let’s add you and me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and then multiply.

13. Hi, you outfit looks really cute. But it would look even cuter wrinkled up on my bedroom
floor.

14. Hi, let me interrupt you for a moment. The word of the day is "legs." Let’s go back to my
place and spread the word.

15. Hi,have you got a little Irish/German/Spanish/Italian/etc. in you? Do you want
some? (inexplicable - I know)

16. Want to come see my hard drive? I promise it isn’t 3.5 inches and it ain’t floppy.

17. I’m an organ donor, and I have an organ you might need.

18. Gorgeous hair. But it’d be even better brushing against my thighs.

19. Wanna play carnival? That’s where you sit on my face and I try to guess your weight.

20. If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

21. There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

22. Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

23. I looked up the word "beautiful" in the thesaurus today, and your name was included.

24. Excuse me, can you give me directions to your heart?

25. Pardon me, but what pickup line works best with you?

26. Excuse me, do you have a quarter I can borrow? I told my mother that I would call her
when I fell in love with the girl of my dreams!

27. This is your lucky day, because I just happen to be single.

28. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

30. Congratulations! You’ve been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand
prize is a night with me!

31. Are you religious? Because I’m the answer to your prayers.

32. Are your legs tired? Because you’ve been running through my mind all day.

33. Is your dad a baker? Because you sure have got great buns.

34. Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on earth!

35. Did heaven lose a couple of angels? ’Cause I can see them bouncing around in your shirt!