THESE IDIOTS DON'T GIVE UP !!!!

Omega Lottery

Nov 22

FROM: THE DESK OF THE PROMOTIONS MANAGER, INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT

WINNING NOTIFICATION

Dear: Sir/Madam

We are pleased to inform you of the announcement today, 22/11/2006, of winners of the Global Mega Lottery South Africa/International Program, held on 30th/09/ 2006 as part of our promotional draws. Participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 2,500,000 email addresses of individuals and companies from Africa, America, Asia, Australia, Canada, Europe, Middle East, and NewZealand as part of our electronic business Promotions Program. You qualified for the draw as a result of you visiting various websites we are running the e-business promotions for. You/Your Company, attached to ticket number 100-309-7482, with serial number 513-10 drew the luckynumbers 2,9,22,23,24,30, +5 and consequently won in the Second Category.

You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of US$1,950,000.00 in cash, which is the winning payout for Second category winners. This is from the total prize money of US$13,650,000.00 shared among the Seven international winners in the Second category.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Your fund is now deposited with the Global Mega Lottery Finance and Company insured in your name. Due to the mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this sectrely from public notice until your claim has been processed and your money remitted to your account. This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claiming or unscrupulous acts by participants of this program. We hope with a part of your prize, you will participate in our end of year (2006) high stakes US$1.3 billion International Lottery.

To begin your claim, please contact your claim agent immediately. MR. Richard Baloyi Foreign Service Manager, Universal Building, 132 - 133 Park Hurst Balfour - Unite 1440 Johannesburg, Gauteng 2001 South Africa.

TEL: 27-7-3032-1594

FAX: 27-11-507 518

Responding Email Address: raloyilottoza1@yahoo.co.uk OR

rbaloyilottoza001@yahoo.co.uk

For due processing and remittance of your prize money to a designated account of your choice. Remember, you must contact your claim agent not later than 20th- 12- 2006. After this date, all funds will be returned as unclaimed. NOTE: In order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications, please remember to quote your reference and batch numbers provided below in every one of your correspondences with your claims agent. REFERENCE NUMBER: FLS-ZR39-825P-4, BATCH NUMBER: 74-263-BBN.

Congratulations once again from all our staff and thank you for being part of our promotions program.

Sincerely,

The Promotional Manager

Global Mega Lottery Pty Ltd

Universal Buildiing, 132 - 133 Park Hurst Balfour - Unite 1440 Johannesburg, Gauteng 2001 N.B. Any breach of confidentiality on the part of the winners will result to disqualification. Please do not reply to this mail box. Contact your claims agent through his email contact above.

Dear purpleshunshinethings,

I know spam is supposed to be trashbinned and forgotten, but this lot is ridiculous.

And I'm trying to raise consciousness against this effing crap here!!

But you know, some mornings I just wake up and dream that all this wasn't fraudulent dogpoop. Who doesn't want to be a multibillionaire?

But I wonder why all this seems to come from the dark continent. South Africa, Nigeria... Don't the boys have decent jobs there? Or, don't tell me, this is too easy money? Are all Americans stupid? Should I change my gmail location to Tanzania? Maybe they'll give me a break, think I'm just some Masai yokel or a long lost drug-dealing brother...

Bewildered,

viatormagnus.

High Alert: Bad Guys Got Your Email Address!!

Anybody been getting ridiculous email lately?

I got two a couple of weeks ago. "The Euro-Afro Sweepstakes Lottery", one of them announced, "has published its list of winners for the month of October, and you were on the top!! And we are proud to announce that our prize amount has been increased to US$25 million!!"

The other said "Dear Karl, we write to you with no little pleasure to announce that the South Africa World Cup 2010 Sweepstakes Lottery results for the second quarter of 2006 are out, and you're a winner! Please contact our agent immediately with your bank account no. and other information to gather your winnings!"

No, I'm not dumb. Didn't fall for either.

But I did look those two up on fraud.com. Apparently they are certain USA and Nigeria (didn't know they had computers there) based frauds who take your account number and your credit card data and rob you blind. Included was the story of a nincompoop from Alabama who had lost $54000 in the bargain.

And if that wasn't bad enough, I got this one today. Read up.

From: Willem Micheal

Reply Email: willemmicheal@myway.com.

TREAT AS URGENT/CONFIDENTIAL.

Dear,

In our search for a trustworthy individual to work with us on a very important and confidential project, we came across your profile in The British Chambers of Commerce and Industries, here in THE UNITED KINGDOM.

My name is Willem Micheal, Principal Executive Officer, and Audit Department with HSBC BANK here in The United Kingdom. During the yearly preliminary in-house auditing of accounts, I discovered an account opened in 2000 and since 2004 has remained dormant and has not been operated till date. The total amount in this account is £2.5Million Pound Sterling less accrued interest.

Working In-collaboration with the Audit Manager, we decided to investigate this account for more information. We discovered that the owner of this account, a foreigner has died intestate leaving no heirs or next of kin who could make a claim.

Presently, we are the only two people in our organization with access to this information and we have decided to keep it that way and claim the money for ourselves using a third party who will take the place of the deceased (next of kin). We will supply the necessary information on the deceased and ensure that the claim application is giving immediate approval. Documents like the death certificate will be arranged and forwarded to you for onward submission to the bank.

The project is risk-free, as we will use contacts that hold strategic positions in the bank to effect a successful completion of the project and also ensure that all traces of our mutual involvement are completely wiped off. These presents no problem as all documented evidence will be directly under their supervision.

We have earmarked a commission of 30% of the total amount for you. The remaining 70% you will help us invest in profitable Stocks and Shares in your country. We would like to get your decision to this proposal as soon as possible. On receipt of your decision, we will fax or email you explicit details of the already completed groundwork on this project.

You can contact me at all times on the above information. willemmicheal@myway.com. +44-703 186 2094 Tel/+44-870 974 2431 Fax

Regards,

Willem Micheal.

Ha ha!!

Now, are any of you getting any of this nonsense, or am I so ugly that local crooks think I'd be someone bad enough to be the next great Bandit-King or something??

I guess this is what you do when you're, erm, tagged?

Do I have to do this??

Aw, c'mmon!!

Damn, this is hard work. I have such a silly little life.

Here goes. I hope I have embarrassed myself already.

1. Having a lie-in. It's something I do a few times a week. It is a nice feeling having your mum holler the time in your face.

2. I'm a mad gamer. I have about a couple of hundred of them cd's and stuff in the stuffed "almari" of mine my mom goes mad at the sight of.

3. Reading everything but Forensic Medicine and the like. I mean, I do need rest, although I rarely work.

4.Disturbing my cat's sang-froid. He is a shapeless glob of fat that lies around all day and only shows signs of life when he smells food, or when he feels my fingers twisting his ears. Then he goes really bonkers and chases me around the house. (Yes, that's right, I have a lousy life. I get chased by an abysmally fat cat.)

5.Laughing. Sometimes I don't do it at all, and sometimes I overreact. But it invariably gives me bronchospasm.

6.Telling people off. I think I do this rather well. Skill anybody needs to survive in salesman-infested territory.

7. Eating. I'm no connoisseur, but I like nourishing myself. And I know good grub when I see it.

8. Making high-flown plans about anything under the sky. Studies. Exercise. Diets. Whatnot.

9. Giving up on the above about thirty seconds after I'm started.

10. Listening to anything as long as I can call it music. I like experimentals. And I like composing stuff myself. No ambitions,though.

I guess that's the correct format. I actually like ten things about my life? Hey, that's a real boost for my self-esteem, you know!

Back After A While And Blabbing About America

Bush-basher-extraordinaire though I am, I believe that George was not the only reason why the American Foreign Policy has ecdysed into the current form. And though Democrats are known to be genuine “softies” in their dealings with the world at large, I don’t see any new patterns emerging.

Without wasting time referring to the clichéd demise of the Soviet Union and the creation of a unipolar world, I would ask the reader to put himself/herself into a self-simulated imaginary global state where he/she runs an economically and industrially omnipotent nation. We would not need reminders from old father Time on the subject of crumbling empires. That, as GWB (referred henceforth as “the Gawb”) liked to say, woood be toow awbvius.

Then, I would not bother to ask the reader if he/she finds the current situation desirable, for identical reasons. I mean, who doesn’t like to be God?

And then, I would stifle the question on the tip of my tongue-of course you’d like to keep it this way.

And then I would ask the reader to look at America. A nation that realizes the power of the moment. A nation that realizes that every single move counts. That when you have the dream of staying at the top till the cows come home (the Texan quality of the metaphor being not entirely unintended), you have to get your clothes dirty. Good business ain’t clean business. As the Gawb knows too well.

The U S of A has understood long ago that the prime power source of the third planet is scheduled to run out about a century and a half or less from date. This gives them an excellent target. They have been doing dirty business in oil for ages, giving the Middle Eastern Royal Families everything that their hearts weakened by years of debauchery could desire, establishing themselves as preferred customers and “security-providers” wherever they found the soil fertile to sow.

And now they reap. America has been the world’s largest automobile manufacturing and buying nation for ages. Producing the most pollutants, guzzling the most “gas” (I guess they call petrol that because they get it to evaporate so fast), driving the most miles and producing the most award-winning environment savvy television programmes.

And they have knocked a decade or three off that “out of fuel” deadline. Beneath America lie moderately large reservoirs of oil. Untapped. They will be struck when the deserts of Arabia have run truly dry. Enough to help them survive till something else is found for dinner.

So they may come up with alternatives soon. Being the world’s largest users of cars, if they are faced with a “convert or run dry” scenario, they would snap up any alternative energy source. And achieve control of either its source or the technology required to tap it. Oh it would be popular soon enough. I heard a shopkeeper in the Mina Bazar in New Delhi say this-“You can sell anything to an American as long as you talk really nice.”

And so economic domination would continue.

Why did America attack Iraq? The Gawb says bad intelligence. The New York Times says to gain control of Iraqi oil dealing. The stupid Catholic says to destroy infidels forever. Saddam Hussein says Allahuakbar.

What would the reader have done to maintain control over a region whose internal politics have begun to take the situation out of hand? Whose leaders, annoyed by attacks on their “brothers” the Taliban, stifled under fundamentalist elements, threatened by war in Israel and Iraq, were gradually beginning to dislike the idea of selling to America entirely? Plant “intelligent bombs” in Iraq? Provide “humanitarian intervention” in Kosovo? Supply “aid” to “war-torn” Israel?

And then, produce a large-scale invasion of Iraq. Shoot Cruise Missiles from destroyers in the Gulf onto Saddam’s blazing palace. Finance Sunni terrorists and revolutionary Shiites. They have played these games for ages.

The effect on the surrounding oil-selling nations? Great Scott! Look at what the streets of Baghdad look like. He did it just basing on “bad intelligence”? Gadzooks! I might be staring up at a bloody nukeheaded ICBM coming down on top of my head next afternoon because the Gawb doesn’t like my beard and Rumsfeld doesn’t approve of hizaab. Damn. I’ll shave tomorrow and give my ninety-seven wives orders to wear G-strings 24-7!!

As Chomsky likes to say- “There’s nothing like the iron hand. The dynamic is very familiar.”

America? Change? Cockroaches don’t need evolution.